MAN RULES

[Godsmack 361]

> > We always hear "the rules"

> > From the female side.

> > Now here are the rules from the male side.

> > These are our rules!

> > Please note these are all numbered "1"

> > ON PURPOSE!

> >

> > 1. Men ARE not mind readers.

> >

> > 1. Learn to work the toilet seat.

> > You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

> > We need it up, you need it down.

> > You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

> >

> > 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon

> > or the changing of the tides.

> > Let it be.

> >

> > 1. Shopping is NOT a sport.

> > And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

> >

> > 1. Crying is blackmail.

> >

> > 1. Ask for what you want.

> > Let us be clear on this one:

> > Subtle hints do not work!

> > Strong hints do not work!

> > Obvious hints do not work!

> > Just say it!

> >

> > 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

> >

> > 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's

what we do.

> > Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

> >

> > 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months IS a problem. See a doctor.

> >

> > 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

> > In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

> >

> > 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us

to act like soap opera guys.

> >

> > 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.

> > Don't ask us.

> >

> > 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways

makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

> >

> > 1. You can either ask us to do something

> > Or tell us how you want it done.

> > Not both.

> > If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

> >

> > 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during

commercials.

> >

> > 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

> >

> > 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.

> > Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We

have no idea what mauve is.

> >

> > 1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.

> > We do that.

> >

> > 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like

nothing's wrong.

> > We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

> >

> > 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer

you don't want to hear.

> >

> > 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...

Really.

> >

> > 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to

discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,

> > Or golf.

> >

> > 1. You have enough clothes.

> >

> > 1. You have too many shoes.

> >

> > 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

> >

> > 1. Thank you for reading this.

> > Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men

really don't mind that? It's like camping.

[Acidburn 10]

so true, every woman needs to learn this

[Godsmack 361]

I HORKED IT FROM TERMPRO'S FORUM

and sent it to the fiancee

[CBFryman 2]

Sending it to my girl...

I lol'd like 4 or 5 times.

And right below "crying is blackmail." Pouting is blackmail as well. So are puppydog looks.

[Aaron Clinton 2,372]

tHANK YOU

[Godsmack 361]

Of course Aaron. Anything to provide man with one more tool as to why we are hella more powerful than our women is a plus.

J

[juddspaintballs 0]

got those in an email a couple months ago. forwarded it straight to my fiancee as well