Is it human nature?

[bassahaulic 155]

Is it human nature to take all forms of criticism and instantly assume the person giving the criticism is trying to insult you personally?

I know I used to think that way, I no longer do and now it seems like, to me at least, that a lot of people think that even constructive criticism is insult based.

When I try to help people, I try my best to make it seem like I am helping or at least trying to. But there is always someone who wants to assume I am just insulting them, even when I try to explain I am helping, they still think I am just trying to be mean towards them. I bring this up from a recent Facebook conversation where someone assumed I was trying to insult them and I never even said anything negative in the whole conversation.

I just don't understand how some people think. I can now see where ///M5 comes from when he tells people things, he isn't trying to be mean but people just take it that way. I guess I communicate in the same fashion he does, or attempt to know as much at least. lol

[Quentin Jarrell 671]

I pity people who are constantly think negatively, you live longer when you are happy.

[An-i-no 86]

Is it human nature to take all forms of criticism and instantly assume the person giving the criticism is trying to insult you personally?

I know I used to think that way, I no longer do and now it seems like, to me at least, that a lot of people think that even constructive criticism is insult based.

When I try to help people, I try my best to make it seem like I am helping or at least trying to. But there is always someone who wants to assume I am just insulting them, even when I try to explain I am helping, they still think I am just trying to be mean towards them. I bring this up from a recent Facebook conversation where someone assumed I was trying to insult them and I never even said anything negative in the whole conversation.

I just don't understand how some people think. I can now see where ///M5 comes from when he tells people things, he isn't trying to be mean but people just take it that way. I guess I communicate in the same fashion he does, or attempt to know as much at least. lol

Well...I think one GIANT piece of the puzzle is how you say things. Say your friend's sub is out of phase and he doesn't know. (something we can all relate to) You can go over very helpfully and say, "hey man, that's wired up wrong." But of course if it's a good friend you could always say "you dipshit. That's wrong as hell" with no harm done.

With those answers, there's ONLY one way to read it. Nice and helpful, and blunt and arseho-ish. But most of the time when you're typing something over the internet, it isn't at either extreme. When M5 said "Ouch someone's math is confused" he could've meant it as "you asshats. That'll sound like poopoo" or, a more friendly "oh snap bro. That's not the best way to do that." Can people tell over the intrawebz? Hell nope. The reason M5 gets that reaction so often is....almost 98% of what he says CAN BE (I won't say is or isn't because I can't always tell) taken either way. So say you have something that you think is great planned out and M5 says "Money could've been spent a little better." You take that as "you bought overpriced equipment" (because, on the surface that appears to be the same) and get defensive. At the same time he could just mean "Should've spent more on the install than the equipment" as advice and you'd never know. It's all about how you READ it. That's the whole reason he has the disclaimer in his sig, because his intrawebz voice is very brash and abrasive but I don't think he means it. Does he stir up a lot of emotions (read: shit)....hell yes. But it's not just his fault. I do think he could attempt to word things a little better and go further to explain himself but both me and him know that this is the internet and he can do whatever the hell he wants to.

*didn't intentionally single out M5. Just knew that the OP was referring to the recent shitstorms that M5 appeared to be the center of.*

[Duran 387]

I call those folks, vaginas.

[Sir-Lancelot 216]

Reading something on the internet that has no emotion can be tricky. What you type can be take very wrong depending on who reads it and how they feel at that time.

I have read something that pissed me off, then read it again later and got something totally different from it.

At the end of the day, who cares what someone types. Read it or don't, life goes on.

[sefugi 166]

I call those folks, vaginas.

Throw them a pad and wait a few days, they will be a different person.

[Randal Johnson 544]

I call those folks, vaginas.

Throw them a pad and wait a few days, they will be a different person.

[outhopu 70]

At the end of the day we were not created to communicate in this manner. The term body language is used for good reason. People these days are getting more and more out of touch with reality. I also find there are lots of people who just try to impress people with an illusion of being smart by repeating what others have posted. I try not to even give out much advise or my opinion unless asked for anymore. Everybody is great in their own mind (I fall into this trap to from time to time) and when they realize it doesn't translate directly into the real world they get all but hurt about it.

Most people are way to soft these days also. This is what happens when we teach our children "everybody is a winner".

[dvalue 17]

I call those folks, vaginas.

i lold

[Randal Johnson 544]

Need Anger Management ?? Try this: anger-management-techniques

[Tirefryr 1,742]

At the end of the day we were not created to communicate in this manner. The term body language is used for good reason. People these days are getting more and more out of touch with reality. I also find there are lots of people who just try to impress people with an illusion of being smart by repeating what others have posted. I try not to even give out much advise or my opinion unless asked for anymore. Everybody is great in their own mind (I fall into this trap to from time to time) and when they realize it doesn't translate directly into the real world they get all but hurt about it.

Most people are way to soft these days also. This is what happens when we teach our children "everybody is a winner".

This, and thanks to our lawyer driven society, children are raised as pussies who think they are entitled to shit. This goes back even to my generation.

[emh9009 199]

Reading something on the internet that has no emotion can be tricky. What you type can be take very wrong depending on who reads it and how they feel at that time.

I have read something that pissed me off, then read it again later and got something totally different from it.

At the end of the day, who cares what someone types. Read it or don't, life goes on.

X a million.

[Spencerk 4]

I call those folks, vaginas.

:roflmao: I am now getting evil stares from the whole library.... need to keep the LOL to a wispier I guess

[altoncustomtech 773]

At the end of the day we were not created to communicate in this manner. The term body language is used for good reason. People these days are getting more and more out of touch with reality. I also find there are lots of people who just try to impress people with an illusion of being smart by repeating what others have posted. I try not to even give out much advise or my opinion unless asked for anymore. Everybody is great in their own mind (I fall into this trap to from time to time) and when they realize it doesn't translate directly into the real world they get all but hurt about it.

Most people are way to soft these days also. This is what happens when we teach our children "everybody is a winner".

This, and thanks to our lawyer driven society, children are raised as pussies who think they are entitled to shit. This goes back even to my generation.

^^ THIS is my feeling as well.

There are plenty of knowledgeable people on this forum. Some are more tactful than others in their responses, but I feel there's more combined correct knowledge and good experience here than on any other forum. I hate that things escalated to what they did in the referred topics, I really do. I never felt that anyone was being personally attacked in the early part of it and while it all ended pretty nastily, it seemed that for the most part everyone seemed to grow a little from it as well.

Hopefully there won't be a next time, but we all know there will be and maybe we'll get lucky and everyone involved can remember the shit storm that happened and not let it escalate to that level again.

[///M5 2,833]

You definitely can choose how to read things just as much as you can choose how to write them. Pretty sure in the case stated above no matter how I said that would have created the same reaction. Definitely learned people who are so biased that they read wrong first will always continue.

[REVpuggie 23]

maybe the problem is that some people just want their goals to be achieved but are not willing to gather the knowledge to do so , they just want ready to buy/build answers ,

which is fully understandable but not very realistic .

M5 , the way you write up stuff is pretty blunt at times ,but honest . and Yes some people just can't handle the combination of the two when all they want is those ready to buy/build answers for too small spaces , not big enough budgets for their skyhigh expectations

[iamamp3pimp 34]

Is it human nature to take all forms of criticism and instantly assume the person giving the criticism is trying to insult you personally?

I know I used to think that way, I no longer do and now it seems like, to me at least, that a lot of people think that even constructive criticism is insult based.

When I try to help people, I try my best to make it seem like I am helping or at least trying to. But there is always someone who wants to assume I am just insulting them, even when I try to explain I am helping, they still think I am just trying to be mean towards them. I bring this up from a recent Facebook conversation where someone assumed I was trying to insult them and I never even said anything negative in the whole conversation.

I just don't understand how some people think. I can now see where ///M5 comes from when he tells people things, he isn't trying to be mean but people just take it that way. I guess I communicate in the same fashion he does, or attempt to know as much at least. lol

Andrew, I am very disappointed in your take on this particular subject.

I stated in my first post that all I (The designer that he criticized) was concerned with was the fact that my customer was happy. I even gave him an oppurtunity to conversate on the matter, but my questions were not answered. As since, I have left the subject alone, and have moved on. I'm unsure why some of the members here cannot do the same.

[lb187 9]

Funny i thought it was over...

But just a reminder, It was Ryan (malibu's) build thread not a how to.

Honda 95 responds with a graph then M5 with his math comment.

In life you need to learn how to address someone for better results.

In technical writing there are ways that deal with these types of responses. The tone was all wrong..

If m5 would have approached the thread differently it wouldn't have went the way it did.

And he happened to insult a very well respected individual in the CA scene. So why wouldn't he expect a backlash?

He began with a statement that the builders math was wrong and VERY confused. Instead of asking a question a little less abrasive, to see what the builders/desiners thought process was.

But when his credentials were brought up he goes incognito. Still not proving why his credentials are any better than Robins.

Just doesn't make sense.

[Tirefryr 1,742]

Why does everything have to go back to this one thread? Did the OP mention anything about that thread? No, but people keep having to input their own mind. Drop it now. I can make numerous threads and post how everyone is wrong, no matter the math, your ear, or your credentials.

[lb187 9]

Why does everything have to go back to this one thread? Did the OP mention anything about that thread? No, but people keep having to input their own mind. Drop it now. I can make numerous threads and post how everyone is wrong, no matter the math, your ear, or your credentials.

Why no, no he didn't mention that thread. Others did.

My generation was brought up with old school lessons still intact.

My parents from 2 different racial backgrounds.

1. Midwestern farm.

2. From the segregated South.

They taught me to get respect you have to give it.

I never will insult a person without at least attempting to understand where they are coming from before i remark.

Edited April 30, 2011 by Team Under Pressure-BigBoi

[Darkjustice 0]

my .02 is this. its not hard to correct a misinterpretation. if its obvious someone took something that was said the wrong way why not correct it or even point out that they took it in a way that it wasnt meant and just try to reapproach the situation.

[slim2fattycake 85]

This is me after reading any post.

[TechSys 3]

The whole thing could have started in a much better way just by a little bit of rewording. The first comment that M5 made me think M5 is one of those people that think his shit doesn't stink when it comes to car audio. That is not a way to get a first impression of somebody, not a good first impression at least.

Why do I mention first impressions? When it comes to customer service you want to create a good first impression in the customers mind. Let's say SSA is a car audio shop and M5 was the owner. If I walked into that shop and told M5 exactly what I wanted done and he spouted off a first comment like he did in that topic, I would have turned around and walked out. That is a good way to lose business. Instead of trying to work with the customer to achieve what the potential long-term customer wanted, he spouted off in negative way right off the bat.

I know I pointed out M5 in what I said above, but, it is not just him. This is happening quite a bit on car audio sites by a lot of people that like to think they're god when it comes to this stuff. Thing like, "use the f'ing search", and such.

People need to relearn how to communicate in a positive way, even with criticism. I'm not going to hold my breathe on that though.

[slim2fattycake 85]

meh, USE THE FUCKING SEARCH FUNCTION is a must learn for all internet users.

[bassahaulic 155]

Andrew, I am very disappointed in your take on this particular subject.

I stated in my first post that all I (The designer that he criticized) was concerned with was the fact that my customer was happy. I even gave him an oppurtunity to conversate on the matter, but my questions were not answered. As since, I have left the subject alone, and have moved on. I'm unsure why some of the members here cannot do the same.

That thread wasn't even on my mind at all when typing this up, probably furthest from it. lol

I never even read the thread fully, so I'm not 100% what all was said after my last post.

Why does everything have to go back to this one thread? Did the OP mention anything about that thread? No, but people keep having to input their own mind. Drop it now. I can make numerous threads and post how everyone is wrong, no matter the math, your ear, or your credentials.

Thank you Tirefryr, that thread had NOTHING to do with this thread.