Welcome to the IHoP

[///M5 2,833]

Sometimes I get lucky and get perfectly picked garlic. Then just rip it apart in your hands into cloves, put them in a small metal pot with a lid and shake the shit out of it. They peel themselves. Normally they are already starting to grow though and then they stick more.

[ssh 924]

Snacks are where you can make headway. Hard to drink 3 pints of cream, easy to drink a half pint as a hot chocolate with BF.

Biggest reason why I stopped my fasting for 16hours, and 8hour eating window. Simply couldn't get enough kcal in 8hour window, so it became counterproductive in my situation--though others would venture to say it was always counterproductive.

[ssh 924]

Damn he's fast. That's probably the most I've ever learned about proper knife use.

I don't use my chinese knife for onions. Instead I got a tall bodied chef's knife. Biggest key in chopping is to ride the knife on the knuckle of the hand that is holding the food. Impossible to cut yourself then and only requires you look at the food and where it is. Making sure there is a flat side on whatever the target is (even small shit like garlic) so it can't move is the next bit of golden advice. You skip those to then you will always be slow. Pretty sure I just caused everyone on the board to go "SHIT" that cares. Next it's nice to know how to approach each item. I can dice an onion in about 2x the time it took him to slice one. Longest portion for me is getting the skin off. Friends come over when I am prepping and ask to help. They get to peel garlic. Everything else is easy

*starts a notepad file*

What type of knife was he using in the video where he said he used it for 90%.

[///M5 2,833]

Make carnitas, just be sure to slop on extra "sauce".

Melt lard in a pot, and cubed up pork butt. Since you want fat coverage smaller is better, don't get ridiculous though it'll fall apart when done. Add some citrus (right to the fat, keep in halves so you can extract/not eat), a bay leaf, a onion cut in halves or fourths. Something sugary too, like a can of coca cola. Put it on the stove, turn it on medium-low and cover for a couple hours.

Pick your favorite high fat cheese and tortilla and eat away. Some acid to cut the fat would help. If corn is high in calories it'll match nice dressed in some lime juice. Onions, tomatoes, garlic, lettuce, cilantro, avocado etc all obviously match.

[///M5 2,833]

Damn he's fast. That's probably the most I've ever learned about proper knife use.

I don't use my chinese knife for onions. Instead I got a tall bodied chef's knife. Biggest key in chopping is to ride the knife on the knuckle of the hand that is holding the food. Impossible to cut yourself then and only requires you look at the food and where it is. Making sure there is a flat side on whatever the target is (even small shit like garlic) so it can't move is the next bit of golden advice. You skip those to then you will always be slow. Pretty sure I just caused everyone on the board to go "SHIT" that cares. Next it's nice to know how to approach each item. I can dice an onion in about 2x the time it took him to slice one. Longest portion for me is getting the skin off. Friends come over when I am prepping and ask to help. They get to peel garlic. Everything else is easy

*starts a notepad file*

What type of knife was he using in the video where he said he used it for 90%.

A chef's knife. That one was particularly flexible which I would not recommend. You'll need one flexible (which can be smaller) and a chef's knife as combining those two is a compromise that you shouldn't jump into.

[///M5 2,833]

This is basically what I use:

http://www2.knifecenter.com/item/KSDM0707/Shun-Classic-Japanese-Style-Chefs-Knife-10-inch-Damascus-Blade

[ssh 924]

I'll check our knives in the morning, but after I get my speeding ticket taken care of I can add a knife to the buy list.

Why is it that people use crock pots for cooking rather than the stove on low heat? Afraid to leave the stove on when no one is home?

Earlier this week we had shredded beef and chile (that I got from Hatch, NM).

[///M5 2,833]

I don't own a crock pot. Heats from all sides though. A pot in the oven is more akin and more flexible.

[///M5 2,833]

You need to be able to control the temp below/at/near final cooked temperature for it to be a low and slow method which really breaks down connective tissue.

[///M5 2,833]

I use a smoker for that.

[ssh 924]

I don't own a crock pot. Heats from all sides though. A pot in the oven is more akin and more flexible.

We have a clay (or maybe ceramic, I don't know) pot that goes in the oven, but for super long stuff I typically see the crock pot being pulled out.

[///M5 2,833]

Thank you for reminding me to replenish my chile's before they are sold out again

[///M5 2,833]

I don't own a crock pot. Heats from all sides though. A pot in the oven is more akin and more flexible.

We have a clay (or maybe ceramic, I don't know) pot that goes in the oven, but for super long stuff I typically see the crock pot being pulled out.

If you have a recipe you dig, stick with it for now. Adding other things is a better start. It'll make you want to change what you know now later

[ssh 924]

God dammit. Someone put an open soda all the way in the back of the fridge, and of course I bumped it over. Then to make things worse this stupid fucking Bosch fridge has an alarm that goes off after the doors are open for fifteen seconds. Ugh

[ssh 924]

<^- first world problems.

[ssh 924]

I don't own a crock pot. Heats from all sides though. A pot in the oven is more akin and more flexible.

We have a clay (or maybe ceramic, I don't know) pot that goes in the oven, but for super long stuff I typically see the crock pot being pulled out.

If you have a recipe you dig, stick with it for now. Adding other things is a better start. It'll make you want to change what you know now later

Yeah I mean my mother cooks all that, and I'm very content with it. Though I did raise hell that the second batch didn't "melt in my fucking mouth." like it did in the first batch a week prior. I was promptly called a "dumbass" and told to "deal with it."

[///M5 2,833]

Ha, didn't realize you were having someone else cook for you.

[ssh 924]

Biggest reason why I haven't spent much time learning. Once I'm on my own that will change, and I'll be wishing I knew how to cook.

[ssh 924]

After I get a BS in biochem I'll start doing work, and hopefully fall into med or some masters / PhD program--we shall see. I seem to have a knack for picking up a subject, learning as much as I can for a few years then losing interest, and finding another subject to pillage.

[ssh 924]

In any event I'll be following 50 Cent's philosophy:

Not really, but what'eves.

[dem beats 1,223]

Oh and I'd thought I let you know Sean that all that butter didn't sit well. I drank 0.5 stick, felt fine. Few hours later another 0.5 stick, felt fine. Few hours later another 0.5 stick. Hour or two go by then I felt queezy. Took a two hour nap, woke up, and puked everything up. Literally went from 4500kcal to like 1000kcal rofl.

So for the next week I'm going to eat a 1/4 stick, and slowly ramp it up to 1 stick, and I'm going to spread it throughout the entire day to hopefully give my digestive system a break per-say.

Clearly this is a ridiculous idea all together, and I should just eat more real food (which I would if I could, but mentally I can't), so I'm compromising.

You could try lard. It would probably be easier on your stomach.

[dem beats 1,223]

Oh and I'd thought I let you know Sean that all that butter didn't sit well. I drank 0.5 stick, felt fine. Few hours later another 0.5 stick, felt fine. Few hours later another 0.5 stick. Hour or two go by then I felt queezy. Took a two hour nap, woke up, and puked everything up. Literally went from 4500kcal to like 1000kcal rofl.

So for the next week I'm going to eat a 1/4 stick, and slowly ramp it up to 1 stick, and I'm going to spread it throughout the entire day to hopefully give my digestive system a break per-say.

Clearly this is a ridiculous idea all together, and I should just eat more real food (which I would if I could, but mentally I can't), so I'm compromising.

I'm glad you at least post your ideas....terrible as I think they are. Amusing.

What didn't you like about the way I make hot chocolate. 3 pints of heavy cream is close to 4500. If you can't find real heavy it may be 5 pints. Still yummy versus wtf.

You were making hot chocolate stefan? Shit I thought you were just eating butter.

Cream is the only way to go.

[dem beats 1,223]

2 cups of olive oil is near 4k too, some might even be over. I've drank that for portable energy when camping before. SO MUCH better than butter.

Pretty easy to dilute a cup and a half with a bunch of grated parmigiana reggiano, some garlic, and any green herb you feel like eating, maybe even some nuts. Make the pasta yourself and use loaded flour. Could net you more than 5k in a single meal if you get ridiculous. Not sure what quantity you can eat, but considering how you can eat tuna straight out of a can I bet if I cooked you could wail down a 5k meal easy.

I could drink a couple cups of olive oil I bet. Good for the ticker like crazy too.

My knee jerk reaction would be to splash some balsamic on it with salt and pepper. I like the parm idea too.

[dem beats 1,223]

Amusingly met Guy Savoy when Hung was working for him. Didn't notice Hung.

He makes me feel slow. It isn't the chopping, but the quick breakdown of the sinew on the meat and the little preparations that really impress. Going fast is easy. Going fast and being that accurate and detailed not so much.

Baller. I love it.

It reminds me I need to sharpen all my knives.

[dem beats 1,223]

If I were you I'd come up with a few menu's. Something where you eat 8/10 different things in a day. Each of the things could have an alternative or 2. Gives you a way of having 20 options throughout the day but somewhat always in the same way. Allows you to measure and have variety all at the same times. Figure out when you can stomach the most intake and of what type and choose to eat that during that portion of the day.

Not sure from a gaining perspective if a big meal is good before bed or if it's better first. Also not sure if you are like me and the more you eat for BF the more you eat the rest of the day. Weighing that in your plan would help.

From a weight gaining perspective eating before bed is a complete non issue. Kcal in Kcal out when it comes to pure weight gain factors.

That being said from an anabolic perspective it is HIGHLY preferable to have fat and protein before bed.

It is also highly preferable to have fast carbs and fast protein in the morning. This takes advantage of our hormone release cycles.

Stefan, there is one thing I think I should touch on. The human body can only digest X amount of fat, protein, and even carbs(though we can process way way way way way way way more carbs in the same amount of time as the other two). When you "flood" your GI with protein or fat one of 2 things happen, you get sick(happened to you) or it just goes through your body undigested. You may not always notice it coming out though because it does change. You puked it up when you GI revolted against trying to process it. The fact you didn't get it into the intestines is also a bit of a tell take sign you should try easier to digest foods, and spread it out over a longer period of the day. It doesn't just come out the way we ate it though so some people don't notice....

****gross notice for those with weak tum tums***

Case in point, if you ever have a big dump that sticks to the side of the bowl, it is usually caused by fat that didn't get absorbed or digested properly. This isn't always true, but if you notice it after certain meals, it's an indicator. Same if it smells chemically. Most describe it as an acetone smell. That is more common with the liver not being able to cope with it, usually due to liver shut down. It also it pretty common in babies to have what some moms(chicks go figure) as nail polish remover smell. This can happen if you get wasted drunk and have a tripple whopper with extra fat. Your liver decides it has better poison to work on than the fat nutrients and doesn't cough up the bile needed. The smell or bowl sticking shit isn't always a big deal, but indicates to unabsorbed and not digested properly fat. Could be you just ate too much.

If you eat a lot of fiber this can be masked however. You would probably have the highest volume shits on the planet made of a nasty froth of insoluble fiber and fat, but some would just crap per normal.