Welcome to the IHoP

[Jmac 24]

Nope.

Did I mention that every time you open a new port or series of ports, you need to restart the router which takes nearly a minute ?

Someone has it on for $149.99 + $8.99 shipping today ... Maybe I should ...

[Aaron Clinton 2,372]

[Aaron Clinton 2,372]

When did 17k happen?

[vladd 26]

Matt....if you are coming over Sunday can you bring your gun oil and all the prep stuff for long term storage for the 9mm.

sure can. i'll leave the mobil1 at home though.

[ramos 2]

jesus christ...i just woke up....well this is my final wake up. heh

need to finish the cutout list for the ZDTs.

and mr. ramoski, zaph lists a 1 7/16"(though dayton lists 1 9/16cutout) forstner, you didn't have one of those at dave's, any chance you'd have one at home before i buy one?

I only have one more bit that's not in that box. I'll check it when I go home

[Aaron Clinton 2,372]

6 of our top 20 posting members are no longer considered active. Strange. I don't want SSA to become a top heavy posting forum where only a small handful of people make the majority of posts.

[ramos 2]

A beautiful woman went to the gynecologist. The doctor took one look

at the woman and all his professionalism flew out the window. He

immediately told her to get undressed.

After she disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. While doing

so he asked her, "Do you know what I am doing?"

"Yes," she replied,

"You are checking for abrasions or

Dermatological abnormalities."

"That's right," said the doctor.

He then began to fondle her Breasts.

"Do you know what I am doing now?" He asked.

"Yes," she said, "You are checking for lumps which might indicate

Breast cancer."

"Correct," replied the shady doctor.

Finally, he mounted his

Patient and started having sexual intercourse with her.

He asked,

"Do you know what I am doing now?"

"Yes," she said, "You're getting herpes: which is why I came here in

the first place."

[Aaron Clinton 2,372]

Hahaha, OH NO!

[Tmax98 3]

thats an old one lol

but always good lol

[ramos 2]

A man walks up to a woman in his office and tells her that her hair

smells nice.

The woman immediately goes into her supervisor's office and tells him

that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit and explains why.

The supervisor is puzzled by this time and says, "What's wrong with

the co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"

The woman replies, "He's a midget."

[Tmax98 3]

oh and mike we aren't gettin ur truck tuned today lol

ur mom doesnt wanna drive to the other side of houston

and just wants to go the the bay area place by my house

maybe cost effective if u dont have to drive so far

[ramos 2]

One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted to him

and during her questions about his life she asked him how he managed

for sex.

"What's that?" he asked.

She explained to him what sex was and he said "Oh, I use hole in the

trunk of tree."

Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong...but I will show

you how to do it properly."

She took off her clothes, laid down on the ground and spread her legs

wide.

"Here," she said, "You must put it in here."

Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an

almighty kick in the crotch.

Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp,

"What the hell did you do that for?"

"Me checking for bees" said Tarzan.

[Tmax98 3]

A man walks up to a woman in his office and tells her that her hair

smells nice.

The woman immediately goes into her supervisor's office and tells him

that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit and explains why.

The supervisor is puzzled by this time and says, "What's wrong with

the co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"

The woman replies, "He's a midget."

lmao!

[Tmax98 3]

tarzan one is even better lol

[ramos 2]

Mary had a little pig,

She kept it fat and plastered;

And when the price of pork went up,

She shot the little bastard.

[ramos 2]

Mary had a little lamb,

Her father shot it dead.

Now it goes to school with her,

Between two hunks of bread.

[ramos 2]

There was a little girl who had a little curl

Right in the middle of her forehead.

When she was good, she was very, very good

But when she was bad ...

She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.

[ramos 2]

An Amish farmer, walking through his field, notices a man kneeling

down drinking from his farm pond. The Amish farmer shouts, 'Trink das

wasser nicht. Die kuhen haben dahin esheissen.' (Which means, 'Don't

drink the water, the cows have crapped in it.')

The kneeling man shouts back, 'I'm Muslim, I don't understand you. I

speak Arabic and English. If you can't speak in the sacred tongue of

Islam, infidel, speak in English.'

The Amish farmer replies, 'Use two hands, you'll get more.'

[ramos 2]

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was

closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the

younger alien addressed it saying, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in

peace. Take us to your leader.'

The gas pump, of course, didn't respond.

The younger alien became angry at the lack of response.

The older alien said, 'I'd calm down if I were you.'

The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting.

Again, there was no response.

Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's haughty attitude, he

drew his ray gun and said impatiently, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come

in peace. Do not ignore us this way! Take us to your leader or I will

fire!'

The older alien again warned his comrade saying, 'You probably don't

want to do that! I really don't think you should make him mad.'

'Rubbish,' replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon at the

pump and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball

roared towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet and

deposited him a burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a cactus

patch.

Half an hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he

refocused his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked

dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking

his big, green head.

'What a ferocious creature!' exclaimed the young, fried alien. ' He

damn near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?'

The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy

friend and replied, 'If there's one thing I've learned during my

intergalactic travels, you don't want to mess with a guy who can wrap

his penis around himself twice and then stick it in his ear.'

[theabunai 3]

Alien joke is funny as hell

[ramos 2]

Alien joke is funny as hell

First time I read it I was in tears lol

[Tmax98 3]

thats pretty good lmao

[theabunai 3]

Hard act to follow ramos lol

Edited June 18, 2008 by theabunai

[Chevy350TPI 12]

Hard act to follow ramos lol

What do you call cheese that isn't yo..............

[Tmax98 3]

somebody elses