Aight you told, so I'll offer one as well. Way back when I was wee tot. The drinking age was 18. So after football games and stuff. Every Friday, and Saturday night was beer o' clock. Pretty much every weekend was a party, just a different location. One night it was at a friends house that lived out in BFE . We ran out of beer and were too wasted to drive. So I decided I would ride my friends bicycle to the store and get some more. It was a country road, with no traffic. So I figured I would just fall over and hurt no one but myself. Asked by friend where the closest store was, he said "bout a mile down the road on the right" So I hop on the bicycle and off I went. Got about 50 out of the drive way, and ran right into the ditch. Flipped over the handlebars. Now a normal person probably would have quit right there. Nope, not me I got right back up on the bike and headed down the road again. I rode for what seemed like an hour. I was starting to wonder if my friend knew what he was talking about. I finally got to the store which was wwwaaayyyy more than a mile away. Went inside bought 4 cases. Didn't think about how in the world I was gonna carry 4 cases of beer while riding a bicycle. Took some thinking. Went back into the store and got some bags. Didn't have plastic grocery bags at the time. Everything was paper. But at least they had the little strap thingys. So I figured I could hang them on the handlebars. One on each side. So I took all the beer out of the cases, and put them in the bags. cold beer + warm weather = condensation. I learned this equation about half way back to my friends house. one of the bags finally ripped, and threw my balance off. road right into a d@mn tree on the side of the road. Messed the front wheel on the bike up. Had blood running down my fore head. But what was I worried about ? "D@mn I hope none of the beer's busted. " So I'm out in the middle of BFE, it's pitch black, I'm completely wasted, I have blood running down my face. And I'm scrounging around on my hands and knees in the dark for beer. I picked up what I could find and started putting them in the other bag. Sure enough the other bag ripped as well. Being the good drunk friend I am. I wanted to get the beer back to my friends. So I decided to take off my shirt and use it as a carrying bag. Chit wasn't big enough. What about the pants ? Oh yeah, that's the ticket. So now I'm out in the middle of BFE, it's pitch black, I'm drunk as a skunk, blood all over my face, and wearing nothing but boxers and my chucks. Walking down the side of the road, shirt full of beer over one shoulder. Pants full of beer over the other. I get back to my friends house and nobody is there. WTF ? said screw it , and sat on the porch and started drinking the beer. Couldn't find a cooler, so I had to drink it before it got warm. I probably polished off another half a case or so before I passed out there on the porch. I was awoken quite early by something jabbing me in the chest. I looked up, to see this dude in bibbed over alls and a shot gun in his hands. Asking me " Boy, what the hell is you doing on my porch nekked ? " Oops wrong house
