Aight , way back when I was a young sprout in college. We had a normal plan of attack. Go out an invite pretty much every female we ran into ( never failed guys showed up too ) . Hit the drive thru beverage castle for a couple kegs, a case or two of everclear so we could make some green god d@mn, and to a friends to pick up some 'other' stuff . Then we head back and tear some chit up. Well one night , we were in a bar. I came across the shortest girl I have ever seen in my life, and she was freakin hot to boot. 14 bajillion thoughts dancing in my head. Actually it was just one thought, with 14 bajillion different variations Anyway, I went over struck up a conversation. Invited her back to the apartment for the party. She said sure, and tht she had some friends that would probably like to come along as well. Sure the more the merrier. So I gave her the apartment number . Told her my room mate and I were headed that way right now. So anytime they wanted to head over, I would be there. I'll skip a bunch of stupidity here and advance to her getting there. By the time she arrived I was plastered, as was she. We started talking, next thing you know we're headed down the hallway to my bedroom One thing leads to another , we're hot and heavy into it . 20 -30 minutes later , we were laying there partaking of 'other' stuff. When she says something about her friend that might want to join in . And asked if that was okay Like I was gonna say no. So she get's up, throws her clothes back on, and walks out the door . A couple minutes later the door opened. In walked sasquatch. I swear this girl was almost 7' tall , and a freckle shy of a metric ton. She sat on the edge of the bed , and I rolled of into the floor. As I was clambering back into the bed, Hoping she wasn't the short girls friend. I said hey how ya doing. She said ____ ( can't remember names too well ) said I didn't mind if she joined in. I asked when her friend was coming back. She said she told her to leave us alone for a couple hours First thought, dear god nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Next thing I know sasquatch was all over me. And I'm talking literally all over me. I felt a sudden urge for an oxygen mask, and a crow bar. My mind is running a billion miles and hour trying to think up an excuse to GTFO. I was so wasted I could hardly remember my own name. I jumped up and told her I needed to get another beer real quick. She smiled and said hurry back. I threw on the boxers and walked out the door. Don't quite know what happened to sasquatch . Never saw her again. As I went for a several hour walk in my boxers. Didn't get back until the next morning. Room mate said he saw some fat bish leaving my room around two or three in the morning. Said he went in my room to laugh at me and I was gone. Saw the short girl a couple months later in a bar . She came up and put her hands over my eyes and said guess who. I said uh uh , my big arse ain't falling for that chit again. Got up and left. So now I'm extremely scared of really small women, and really large women. One seems to be breed the other, and they tend to travel in packs as such
