Subject: How to drive in Phoenix, Arizona > >Scary but true!! > > >1. You must learn to pronounce the city name. It is: "FEE!-niks." > >2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00a to 10:00a. The evening rush hour is > from 3:00p to 7:00p. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning. > >3. The minimum acceptable speed on all freeways-I-10, I-17, U.S. > 60, Loop 202 -- is 85 mph. You may only exceed that speed on Loop 101, > where the speed is allowed to match the highway number. Anything less is > considered wussy. > >4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Phoenix has its > own version of traffic rules. Cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go > next at a four-way stop. The truck with the biggest tires go after that. > (Note: East Valley, SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS > have the right of way.) > >5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, > cussed out and possibly shot. > >6. Never honk at anyone. Ever..... Seriously! > >7. Construction is a permanent fixture in Phoenix. Detour barrels > are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next day's > driving a bit more exciting. > >8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, > barrels, cones, cows, horses, cats, mattresses, shredded tires, squirrels, > rabbits, crows, vultures, javelinas, roadrunners, and the coyotes feeding > on any of these items. > >9 . You must know that "Maricopa Freeway, Papago Freeway and the > I-10" are all the same road. > >10. To find anything in Phoenix, it is required to know where > Central and Washington are. This is our Alpha and Omega-the Beginning and the End. > >11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the > shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated." > >12. If you are in the left lane, and only driving 70 in a 55-65 > mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" > accordingly. > >13. Ground clearance of at least 12 inches is recommended for city driving. > >14. You are allowed to wear potholders to protect your hands and > fingers during the summer driving months
